September 13, 2007 by jalvilhiera.

I have often said that the level of success (or lack there of) that you achieve in life is equal to the sum total of the choices that you make. To me this has always meant that what I choose to do or choose not to do creates my results; while other people and circumstances may play an influential role only I am ultimately responsible. That single thought puts total control over my experience of life squarely in my hands. Truth be told though, that is a double edged sword. While it is very empowering knowing that only you create your life experience, all that responsibility can bring a certain amount of trepidation.

This is why I have found that this statement arouses so much emotion in people even though the logic behind it is tough to deny. For instance, someone who has just lost everything they own in a flood may say that it was a natural disaster and they can not control the weather. While both of those statements are true are they really the whole story? Shouldn’t the person have known that they were buying a home in a flood plain? Even if they didn’t know, does that absolve them of the responsibility for making an informed decision? Even people who are without a doubt victims of fraud, like investors who lost all of their retirement savings invested in Enron, can not claim they were not ultimately responsible for their loss. It was their choice to put all their retirement eggs in one basket. A practice that anyone who has put more than a dollar into the stock market has learned, sometimes the hard way, is at best risky and at worst potentially devastating. In both cases these people made emotional choices and found ways to rationalize for themselves what they probably knew deep down to be bad decisions. They did not take calculated risks, instead they chose to gamble and rationalize away their very normal feelings of doubt about what they had chosen.

Rationalization is the conversation that goes on inside our heads selling us on something we desire when our reason and intuition tells us we shouldn’t. Rationalizing robs us of our control and sets the stage for us to be the “victim” of some external force when the outcome of our choice is not what we expected. I won’t go in depth into rationalization here. It is a topic that warrants exploration all on its own. I could go on for pages about similar decisions I have seen otherwise intelligent people make like: buying a business without doing the appropriate due diligence, opting to continue to play a hazardous sport even after sustaining injuries that should have stopped them or buying the beautiful new car that they really can’t afford. In each case these decisions had negative and sometimes dire consequences. In most cases these people chose to blame others for their less than desirable results. They simply could not accept the thought that they had brought about the very situation they were in because of the choices they had made.

I encourage anyone who reads this to test this hypothesis for yourself. Pick any event in your life that did or didn’t turn out the way you desired. Create a timeline backward from the result. Look at every decision you made to take action or to choose inaction and explore the impact of each of those choices. If you are honest with yourself it will quickly become obvious to you how you created the result. Once you become fully aware of the linkage between your decisions and your results, you can change your future results by changing your actions.

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July 11, 2007 by jalvilhiera.

   I think this is an interesting question.  Are you aware of what your values are – the role they play in your life – how they filter the information you receive and color your thought processes – whether or not they serve you in reaching your goals?  Can you differentiate your core values or life drivers from the other less powerful values you have acquired over time?  Are you aware that your core values impact everything you do unconsciously……if you’re not aware of them?

   When was the last time you reflected on what is really important to you in life?  Wouldn’t it be great to wake up every morning with a sense of purpose – a connection to the big picture of your life – an understanding of how the little things you will do today fit into achieving your life’s purpose?  That kind of purposeful living stems from an understanding of your values and making a choice to live in congruence with them.  The true magic of values comes into play when you align your values with your skills and passions. When these three forces in your life combine, you can create whatever you desire.

How is the power of values working in your life – consciously or unconsciously?

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